I have such fond memories of playing outside when I was a child. None of those memories included scheduled play dates, $1000 swing sets, perfectly landscaped fenced in yards, fancy sprinklers, adorable play cottages, and parents that hovered over us and intervened when the slightest tiff takes place. My children currently have or will have most of these things mentioned. (We are currently in the market for the $1000 swing set). My children are only 3 and 2 so the jury is still out on hovering and intervening too much but I do wonder "Will I be that parent?", and more importantly how do I avoid being too involved, giving them their space yet ensuring they are safe?
When I was growing up we lived next to a large field that was used for all the neighborhood kids to play running bases, capture the flag, kick ball, and Ghost in the Graveyard. On the other side of the field was Mr. Davis’s house. Mr. Davis was a cranky old man who lived alone and hated children. While we spent the day playing in the field, Mr. Davis spent the day yelling at us every time a ball would hit his house for fear it would break a window. We never even came close to breaking his windows. Looking back the yelling never really deterred us from playing there. We spent many an hour planning our defense against mean old Mr. Davis...."This time we were actually going to tell him It's not his lot...." All the while our parents never really intervened. Can you imagine those shenanigans flying today? When we weren’t playing in the field we often were swinging on a old tire that was attached to an even older tree to make a swing, digging in the puddles and dirt to make “mud pies”, running through the rusty old sprinkler, and riding our big wheels. Every kid in the neighborhood had a big wheel and the entire block was our driveway. Big Wheels were our first ever taste of freedom. We didn't need five different choices of riding vehicles. We had the freedom to roam the street as long as we stayed on our block. Parents called us in by yelling for us out the door. Am I advocating we go back to the days of no helmets or seat belts, and rusty metal swing sets? Of course not! Also, there’s the “The world is not as safe factor”, where kids shouldn’t be roaming free like we used to anyway. I do however think a little of that care free spontaneity is lost on children today. Dealing with Mr. Davis on our own built character and we bonded as neighborhood kids. As I think about what "playing outside" will be like for my daughters I know they'll have acess to many cool places, toys and experiences that I never had. However I also know they'll probably never have the empty lots, the freedom of roaming the block, and the overall simpleness of childhood that existed back then. A part of me wishes they could know the feeling when 'conquering' Mr.Davis with a big wheel and some Bubblicious chewing gum was all a kid needed for the perfect day!
Do you worry about raising kids in a generation where we are over involved as parents?
How do you strike the balance of safety and freedom when it comes to your kids?
Tricia, this is just the childhood we are trying to give our children here. It helps to live in the country where we have woods, trees to swing in, dirt...our own piece of Earth where we don't have to worry about our children being endangered by others when left to explore. But, for those who don't have this, I think it is wonderful for them to be a part of the children's outdoor play. Fresh air, outdoors, and family time are all so important. And, I'm more saddened (much more) to see children indoors occupied by electronics than outdoors with their families. A thought-filled post, Tricia.
ReplyDeleteAnd, Mr. Davis? Classic! -heather
Heather that environment sounds dreamy!! We live in a bit more of an urban environment but I agree there are so many ways to still encourage outside exploration and love of nature without having the perfect outdoor space! Thanks for your input!!
DeleteI really really hope that the next place we live is in a house with our own yard and other children in the neighborhood. I loved being able to hop on my bike and ride around the neighborhood with my friends and just staying outside morning to night. I want my kids to experience this too.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree Samantha, I loved having those experiences as a child and I wish that for my own children. Even if it's not exactly like my childhood, I still think it's possible to give them similar memories! I hope you get you house and yard someday! :) Thanks for chiming in!
ReplyDeleteThere are so many more factors in these times that impact on the raising of our children. As today's parents we are the guardians of play. And it doesn't just happen anymore, we have to make it happen. How easy it is some mornings to just leave the TV going because the toddler is quieter, but I know that this is only creating bad habits that will impact significantly on my toddler later in his childhood, teen years and early adulthood. So I turn that box off and I send him outside. Yes, it's more work for me but it is worth it. My toddler learns much, much more in his outside play, than he will ever learn from the Box. And although he will never have the childhood that my husband or I ever had, I reckon we can come pretty darn close!
ReplyDeleteAmie, you make a very good point! There are many more factors involved in these times we are raising our children.
DeleteIt does make me sad to think how different things are when I was growing up. But you are right, by the choices we as parents we can help create that similar childhood we had. Thanks for your thoughts on this!
Just one point - THE WORLD TODAY IS SAFER THAN THE ONE YOU GREW UP IN. Crime rates are at an all time LOW. In the mean time I have 5th graders who can't tie their shoes because Mommy always does it. For the sake of the future - kick the kids outside and tell them to go play. Stop hovering and start raising kids who will be independent adults.
ReplyDeleteHi - following you from KBN. Lovely blog!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much!!! :)
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